On the first day of Christmas

I’ve worked on this for a bit now…

Merry Christmas guys!

The Twelve Days of Carphone Warehouse

On the first day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: not a single damned apology.
On the second day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: two broken mobiles
On the third day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: three stress headaches
On the fourth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: four dead phone lines
On the fifth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: FIVE LEGAL THREATS*
On the sixth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: six dropped connections
On the seventh day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: seven crappy modems
On the eighth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: eight Indian call centres
On the ninth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: nine blue screens
On the tenth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: ten investors bolting
On the eleventh day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: eleven lame excuses
On the twelfth day of Christmas Charles Dunstone gave to me: twelve customers weeping

* Used for the purposes of satire and comedy. This hasn’t happened. Yet. Or at least it didn’t happen on the fifth day of Christmas.

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4 responses to “On the first day of Christmas

  1. Still it shall be a merry Christmas for Mr D, sat on his boat laughing at all his customers.

  2. my email address should be a talktalk one but I can’t use it as it doesn’t receive its emails
    I am really lucky-this has beeen going on for only 11 days and customer services tell me it will all be well tomorrow, (again) which is not as good as their last estimate which was 4 oclock last week.

    My netgear has been made defunct, I am back to my onetel modem-`The modem supplied by taltalk didn’t work. I have had to lose all my emails (that I had waited 3 days to receive) once before and would have done again except this time I seemed to know more about how to save them than technical services It took 6 hours of talking and phoning to restore my broadband connection after talktalk lost it whn they were ‘improving’. My telephone frequently went dead in the middle of conversations.
    Customer services don’t seem to know why I receive emails from them saying the service is now running properly; None of the emails I know have been sent to my address have actually arrived, only those from talktalk…….is there anything actually -I say I am lucky I can write to all my contacts and give them a yahoo address-

  3. Well, I do not have ANY problems. My own gateway (Linksys) drops lines but is not TalkTalk’s fault.

    Line is no problem. Email failed a few weeks ago and TalkTalk told me to call their premium rate number to talk me through it. EEEERRRR nope, it is your servers down. Emailed and told them not chance ‘your problem – you fix it’!

    Next message ‘we are aware of the problem and will be fixed within 48 hours’ and it WAS!

    Letter a few days ago advising that my local exchange has now been updated and changeover will be 18th January 2007.

    Not everyone had problems guys and it is being blown up out of all proportions by media gripe. Same when I was in financial srrvices, always a problem that was going to be exploited.

    Guess you with problems will now attack me!

  4. Just been upgraded through the llu. Oh well there goes my broadband connection. Been down now for some 18 hours and heir advice?

    Try again tomrrow after 8am! It can take some time to initialise! Baloney, you cocked up!!

    Goodbye TalkTalk!!!!!

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